{Find Yourself}
“be the captain of your own ship”
A few weeks ago, me and Kevin were
privileged enough to go to Lake Powell with the most wonderful people. {The
Brians, kell, Harley, grace, Sabrina and girls.} Let me start at the very
beginning. The ride down was a blast. It was four girls in the car for 7 some
odd hours. We played every game you
could imagine, we sang every song, had a dance party, and got pulled over. (oops)
But it was a joyous ride to say the least. We finally arrived to LP. Hot as
haties.
{the motto was FIND
YOURSELF} I focused on every present moment and nothing more.
That first moment of getting onto
the boat was that feeling of pure freedom, freedom to be who I wanted to and to
find who I wanted to be while on this trip. From the get go, all insecurities,
all doubts, all sensitivity, EVERYTHING was left at the dock.
The drive from the dock to the
house boat was the perfect way to start it off. SINGING AT THE TOP OF OUR
LUNGS. {morgs put the best playlist together for the trip} Let’s just say we
learned a few songs in the first 2 hours of being on the boat. Repeat. Repeat. And
there ya go. The song was called [You could have been with me- Sheena Easton]
Definitely one you should listen to if you haven’t already. It’s an oldie, but
the lyrics are SPOT ON.
Each day was an adventure in
itself. Every morning around 6 we would all get up to appreciate the beautiful
water that was waiting for us. [literally nelson couldn’t wait]
I have never experienced water
sports before. So this was all new to
me. I have never wake boarded, surfed, but I have been tubing. It was a
learning experience. At first I was very motivated. I was ready to listen to
whatever my “instructors” had to say and tried to do exactly what they told me
to do to succeed. Sometimes I understood and got up, but then I panicked/ got
too excited and fell because of it. This occurred several times and I started
to act out on my frustration. Finally I came to the realization that patience
takes calmness. It takes understanding of what you’re doing wrong, to try to
turn it into something right. It also takes people you love rooting for you on
the sidelines, urging you to be your best self! Eventually I got up. I got up
and I contained my excitement long enough to stay up! Surfing was a lot easier,
but I got way too excited again. {ha} eventually I got up, and was able to stay
up for longer periods of time. Surfing was fun for me because your feet weren’t
strapped down. {I was free, I was myself, nothing was strapping me down}. Even though I did enjoy wake boarding… but I never
went out of the wake.
Kim always made us amazing meals. Right
after we ate, we would find another activity to do. It was so peaceful. Nothing
was a rush. You did anything, you ate whenever, and slept in nothing. [sleeping
on the top is the best room on the boat] all those beautiful stars shining
bright for you to enjoy. They are perfect for thinking about life, boys, and everything in between. {to be honest, I had been going on dates with a specific
guy. He’s a hunk, very into himself, and 18. HA.} I was able to assess and
really contemplate what to do when I arrived home. ACTIONS SPEAK LOUDER THAN
WORDS; so I put it to the test. I didn’t have cell phone service, and wanted to see if he
would tell me he missed me. or be super cute and leave me messages to look at
when I did get service. To my {not} surprise, there was nothing for me to read
when I was driving home. I realized right then and there that nothing would go
on. I also realized I didn’t miss him while I was gone, and that’s not how it
should be, so I decided it would be fair for both of us to take a step forward
alone..
Up until Powell, I forgot all the things that I did right
in my life. I had forgotten the accomplishments, and the things that made me,
me. I forgot all the things that made me unique. The things that I had done
that no one else has done before. I was so caught up with life and trying to be
JUST like everyone else that I forgot to step back and realize what I loved and
what I wanted to do to further my goals and dreams. All that was in my head was
every mistake that I have ever made. The things that I did wrong, and wished I
had never done. But then I realized
something. Doing things wrong isn’t always what we intend to do, or even what
we want to do. Those mistakes make us who we are. Mistakes are what makes us
realize, step back and want to be better because of it.
A few months ago i had an experience that tested me, it tested me in ways that i didn't know i could be tested. During the hard times, my family was always there, all the way till the end. At the end of this trial, I failed. The only response I heard from my wonderful dad was, “It’s not important why we fail,
but how we react after we fail”. Life happens. We just need to make sure that
when we do fall, that we pick ourselves up and get back to work. {{Lake Powell was a chance for me to remember who I am, and continue being the person that I have found again! I FOUND MYSELF.
Sometimes we lose our way. We lose
sight of who we are and what we’ve accomplished this far in life. We get caught
up with the past, and fear the future, but we never focus on the present
moment. {NOG}
Moral of the
story:
-Remember
who you are.
-Be grateful
for everything you have.
-You will
fail, but just know what you’re going to do after
LP was such
a calming trip. It was paddle boarding one minute, laying out in the floaty
to get tan, playing a game, sleeping, etc. The trip was so great because of
what we did, and the people who we were with.
LOVES
{meagnogg}
Comments
Post a Comment