A Slice of Marriage

I've had this understanding of experiences lately, I have A LOT of them ;) And the things I experience are going to be completely different than the ones all of you experience. SO I am sharing my life with you! I hope you don’t mind ;) This last week I have learned so much. Honestly I have learned so much in the last few weeks, and it’s only January 14!!!

 At my work we have a LEARNED & SHARED. When we learn something, we have to share it with someone.  This post is a learned and shared for all of you out there that might still live at home, or live in an apartment with complete strangers.

Well let’s just say that I have officially had a slice of “marriage” now for about 6 months.  I have come to understand the answer to this question, “Hey how’s the married life”? And they say “You know it has its ups and downs.” I have to be honest, in the past I was so appalled when anyone would say that, but now I know what that means.

My “Marriage Life”

I live with 3 girls, tons of estrogen; we don’t even know what to do with it. Living with girls is awesome! We are about 98% clean, I love that. But we have had some tiffs, and will continue to. Obviously we have all been raised by wonderful parents, but a little differently. So that makes it hard. We clash opinions, we butt heads, we get irritated with each other’s habits that we aren’t used to , we are slap happy, and we PMS wayyy more than we did before. But it’s understandable. 

I had a tiff with my roommate. I was shocked. I thought we were such good friends and that meant  an argument would never happen. Or a hard time wouldn’t come up. I was proven wrong. When I came back from Christmas break I was sick! At home when I’m sick I am overly loved, so coming to my apartment it was a huge change, and I was grumpy because I had to do everything for myself. I found out that sleeping at my apartment only made things worse, so I went home as much as possible to get better as quickly as I could.  As I was getting better, my roomie got sick! Omg! Honestly? It was awful. She’s the complete opposite. When she’s sick she doesn’t want anyone to touch her, talk to her, nothing. It was hard for me. I was like.. ummm, what did you want me to do? Ahah Let’s just say we had a few awkward days. A few awkward moments. Feelings were hurt. I found myself questioning everything I had done in that past week. I finally called my mom. (This is where it sounded like I was married) The convo went something like this.

Me: “Mom I don’t know what to do… Things aren’t how they used to be… something’s changed, I can feel it and I hate it! But I don’t know what I did wrong.”

Mom: “Well I think you should talk.. Tell each other how you feel and ask what you’ve done wrong, how you can fix it (ON AND ON AND ON)

Me: “ Ok I will when I get home.”

So I sent a text and said.. “hey we need to talk”

ROOMIE: “Well what do you want to talk about”?

“just stuff, see you at home.”

SO I went on with my day. All day I just thought about what I was going to say. So I found a mirror and started talking to myself. What would really hit home? How could I make a good presentation?  Communication is key. Lay it all out on the line. I got home. She’s not there… uhhh?  *waits* …..Eventually she got home. I was on the couch, and she walked straight into our room… acca-awkward… nbd. I kept doing my homework, and eventually I couldn’t take it anymore. I stood up, sucked it up and hoped that what I was about to say would make sense so we could figure it out.

WE sat and talked for a good hour. I said my peace, she said hers, and we worked together. I learned what gets her irritated, and she understood why I do things the way I do. Let’s just say we understood each other a little bit better. And we were ok with it.  She’s one of my dearest and best friends, and I told her that. I told her that I wanted to have her for a long time. We took some time to recoup. We went out to dinner, and were with each other for the majority of the night.

Here’s what I’ve learned about “married life”:

• ·         If something is wrong, and want it fixed, you have to be willing to change and not expect the other person to do anything.
• ·         ALWAYS GIVE. And after you thought you’ve given everything you have to offer, give more. Never stop giving.
• ·         You can’t have everything. Realize that. You won’t be right in everything.
• ·         If you are going through a rough time with your spouse and you make it through it, you’re that much closer. AND you’re stronger for working through it.
• ·         FORGIVE AND FORGET.
• ·         Communication is key!

Obviously this stuff doesn't just work for “married people”. It works for everyone you come in contact with. A relationship with your boy or girlfriend. A relationship with your husband or wife. A relationship with a sibling. I promise that those bullet points will help you with anyone. Be the person that steps up, lays it on the line and communicates! Don’t regret not working something out. FORGIVE AND FORGET!! We all mess up. The sooner we realize that there isn't a perfect person, the sooner we will be more accepting of the ones we love.  Give until you can’t give anymore, and then give a little bit after that! Remember that saying “I LOVE YOU” doesn't mean it until you serve someone with your whole heart.